13 Signs You Are an Introvert
Every introvert is unique. What’s true for one introvert may be quite different for another. Each introvert has a different level of tolerance for socializing and other types of stimulation.
Above all, there is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert. “Such a man would be in the lunatic asylum,” the famous psychotherapist Carl Jung once noted. Introversion and extroversion are on a spectrum, meaning, they are not all-or-nothing traits. Everyone acts introverted at times and extroverted at other times. It’s all about what your preference — in general — tends to be.
Here are 13 signs that you might be an introvert:
1. You enjoy spending time alone
Most introverts enjoy social time too, but all introverts enjoy the solitude of spending time alone. If alone time feels refreshing, peaceful, and helps you recharge, you’re probably an introvert.
2. Certain types of socializing drain you
It’s possible that not all social settings affect you the same way. But with new people, large crowds, or in noisy environments, you probably get wiped out fast. Stay out too long and you may even crash — a.k.a. the “introvert hangover.”
3. You do your best work alone
Introverts rarely work well in crowded environments. The more secluded you are, the more likely you are to focus deeply and produce great work. You may feel more creative, focused, or productive, or you may simply be able to do more in a shorter time. It doesn’t mean you can’t work on teams, but you like to retreat somewhere quiet once the collaborating is done. In an open office, noise-canceling headphones are your friend.
4. You’d rather hang out with a few close friends than a large group of people
It’s a myth that introverts don’t like to socialize. Sitting with a few close friends, you may enjoy chatting all night, and you may even “seem” like an extrovert. For whatever reason, these types of interactions don’t drain you the way others do. But once you get to a party or large group setting, you know it’s only a matter of time before you feel wiped.
5. You have a vivid, rich inner world…
You might spend a lot of time pondering, and even dreaming. Or, you might just prefer to think things through before you act. Not every introvert is a dreamer or creative, but almost all have an entire inner world that they find just as comfortable as the world around them
6. …and you’re often “in your head”
Sometimes, you get caught daydreaming, or you get flak from coworkers who are quicker to act with less planning. You might even have been told to “get your head out of the clouds” — or you may simply tend to zone out during a conversation and pursue your own thoughts. It’s not that the word around you isn’t interesting. It’s just that what you’re imagining or thinking about is even more interesting.
7. You prefer to stay out of the spotlight
There are exceptions to this, but many introverts prefer not to speak up in large group settings — and would rather hand off speaking roles to someone else. Of course, many introverts are creatives and performers, and some even love getting on stage.
Others are business leaders who speak in front of teams or audiences all the time. Introverts are fully capable of learning and mastering these skills, but if your natural inclination is to avoid group participation, you may be an introvert.
8. You can “network,” but you feel like you’re faking it
If you hate small talk, and you also hate having to talk to strangers, then networking is just about the least comfortable thing you can do — and that’s exactly how most introverts feel.
That doesn’t mean you can’t do it when it’s necessary for work or business, but if given a choice, you’d schedule your next networking event for sometime in 2089.
9. You don’t always know what to say
Instead, you routinely find yourself thinking of the right response after the conversation is over. This is normal: many introverts struggle with word retrieval (the ability to choose the right words on the fly).
10. You’re better at writing your thoughts than speaking them
You may or may not be a natural novelist, but if writing something is more comfortable than saying it in person, it’s a strong sign you’re an introvert. Introverts take time to think about what we want to say, and while that can slow down a live conversation, it makes for very clear and expressive writing.
11. You dive deep, both in your relationships and interests
What exactly do you do with that alone time you like to have? It’s time for self-reflection, of course! You might spend it thinking about your life, the people you love, your career, or the “big questions” in life. Or, you might spend it reading, researching, or creating art. All of these things give you a tendency to go deeper than others into the topics and pursuits that interest you. (Of course, you also spend some of that time just relaxing and recharging.)
12. You seek meaning
When you’re the type of person who thinks deeply about your world, it’s hard to settle for shallow relationships, shallow goals, or shallow conversation. If you seek a sense of meaning in your job and your relationships and prefer meaningful conversation over small talk, it could be a sign you are an introvert.[I find that this applies to me most when it comes to creating relationships and having conversations. It can be a barrier, but it makes for more compelling discussions.]
13. You feel out of place in an “extroverted” society
Extroverts often don’t notice it, but our society assumes that people should be chatty, social and quick to speak up — pretty much all the time.
Did you feel pressure to talk more even at a young age?
Did you always feel out of place, or even wonder if there was something wrong with you for not being more social?
This single factor may be the biggest sign you’re an introvert.
These are just some of the signs of an introvert, and not every introvert will match all of them. But if you — or someone you love — matches most of them, it’s a pretty strong sign.
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