Not by popular demand: low sex drives and compatibility in relationships
Context matters and sometimes it’s more than your partner not being into you or not caring. For example, let’s examine this under-the-radar psychological condition.
Sexual compatibility is real and for most people, a significant portion of a relationship. Libidos, sexual drive, and desire all impact compatibility and vary depending on your personality, temperament, mood(s), etc. Therefore, it is normal in relationships to go between periods of wanting sex and not wanting sex. Furthermore, when an individual is consistently experiencing low desire, libido, and a general lack of interest in sex, then despite any compatibility, the relationship may face many difficulties.
Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD) is defined as “the absence of sexual fantasies and erotic thoughts, and/or desire for or receptivity to, sexual activity that causes the personal distress or difficulties in the relationship” (American Sexual Health Association, 2019). The DSM-5 states that these symptoms must be persistent and cause significant distress for at least six months. An individual who is seemingly never in the mood or experiences the inability to desire sexual thoughts with a partner may find it difficult to maintain connection or self-esteem.
Many causes are said to lead to HSDD. They are low testosterone, certain medications (SSRIs, antidepressants), anxiety, depression, breast cancer, diabetes, neurological concerns. Likewise, former editions of the DSM stated this diagnosis was non-gender specific, but now in the DSM-5 has exclusively addressed men (you’ll see MHSDD) because there is another single disorder for the opposite gender.
So, an individual (age, culture, race — non-factors) who has had surgeries as a result of breast cancer, someone who was prescribed the incorrect medication, or someone who is unhappy may experience HSDD. It is interesting to note that there are several mental health conditions linked to the causes of HSDD such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem (ASHA, 2019). Personally, this may benefit from more research or a re-examination of the criteria that the individual has met for HSDD; it’s possible, they may not have HSDD but are in an extremely low mood due to these other psychological conditions.
Treatment for this disorder varies depending on the context, situation, and the individual in question. If there is a visible overlap between psychological conditions such as depression and anxiety and HSDD, cognitive behavioral therapy is a research-based, proven method. Similarly, cognitive-affective behavioral therapy focuses on relationship skills building and communication training, which may lead to enhancing the relationship. There’s also sex therapy and medication. For women, there may be other situations leading to low desire, so identifying and addressing those concerns (pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, etc.) might help.
Thanks for stopping by. If you’re looking for ways to improve your sex life, check out this.
Reference
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders. 5th edition. Arlington, VA.
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