Why Your Relationships Might Have Failed

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  • Yes, sometimes you are all of this and your partner sucks, is nasty, not the right fit, abusive, or turns out to be into the opposite sex. Then my next question will be: did you give it enough time to get to know them before jumping into a fully committed relationship?
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  1. Communicate
  • Ditch passive, passive-aggression, and aggressive communication.
  • Learn to use assertive communication effectively.
  • When speaking to your partner avoid pointing the figurative finger and using YOU (ex. You need to do…I wish you would…); try to focus on expressing yourself using “I” statements (ex. I feel [emotion]…I need…).
  • Both good and bad. Comfortable and uncomfortable. Worries, fears, excitements.
  • For extroverts, this may be easy. For introverts, maybe not so much but there should be a compromise. Find out your style and work through it together.
  • By being consistent.
  • No one likes someone who is inconsistent and unpredictable with their actions. Your consistency makes it more likely for me to be consistent. Will they be upset today? Can I ask this question without fear? It’s unnerving.
  • Look in the mirror and create accountability for yourself. Like consistency, if you want someone to be honest, it begins with you being honest.
  • If monogamy isn’t for you then don’t get into this type of relationship — it’s that simple.
  • Many people turn outward because they’ve failed to work on insecurities, mood, egos, or pride, together.
  • If you signed up for it, respect them.
  • How would you like it if the shoe was on the other foot? I’d be infuriated. Walls up.
  • One of the most positive things about having a partner is knowing someone will be there whenever I need them to be — consistently.
  • Hot sex. I know, I know there's more to it than that. But c’mon. Need it, want it.
  • In between careers, hobbies, kids (if applicable), and other life distractions, it’s easy to fall into the roommate routine. Like those initial butterflies, you have to actively make time for your partner.
  • Plan a moment to catch up or get out of the house for a weekend. This may also be a great time to remind yourself of what makes that person special to you. Or an opportunity for hot sex, just being honest.
  • Nothing else needed. Like a poison, this will slowly destroy trust, respect, your sex life, and relationship.
  • When you disagree are you arguing to win the fight? Or seeking a mutual solution?
  • Swallow your pride. Don’t cut them off or ignore them. Be patient.
  • Check your emotions: why are you upset?
  • Figure out the disagreement and find a similar ground.
  • Some days I truly dislike my wife. She’s strong-headed, assertive, and just as stubborn as I can be. Even more intelligent. So, this makes for interesting interactions at times. Though, when in a disagreement we can go at each other, these are all the reasons I’ve wanted to be around her. Being happy all the time is a myth. Now, I try to look for what she is saying more than reacting to the mood or body language.
  • Find the solution. Don’t worry about trying to win the fictional battle, if you do, you will always lose (no matter the gender or non-gender).
  • People can grow. We can learn how to fit around each other and work with each other as a team. However, if when you met, they were a homebody, don’t expect then to be vibrant and want to go out all the time. Or vice versa. It will only lead to a self-induced letdown.
  • Become best friends.
  • LOVE IT! Embrace them! Only because you are also littered with flaws yourself. It wouldn’t make sense any other way, would it?
  • “No matter what, I will be there for you.”
  • Unconditional love is extremely comforting, makes us feel safe and secure, and will boost self-esteem. You might find they trust you more knowing you love them without a doubt.

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Jonathan Printers Jr.

Jonathan Printers Jr.

If you’ve ever read a good book or listened to an older song, you’d know that time travel is real. Emotions, Self-Esteem, Attachment.(@modern.therapist)